Mayor McGinn Kicks “Occupy Seattle” Protesters Out of Westlake; Loses Alpha Hippy Status
Mayor McGinn in happier hippy times
Combined with Hempfest restrictions, hippies across America vote him out of their office
Westlake Mall-Under Mayoral orders, the Seattle Police are planning to move in tonight to clear out protestors against corporate greed camping in Westlake Park. The group is a local offshoot of the Occupy Wall Street movement called Occupy Seattle. The move by the Mayor has enraged the far left across America and they have formally stripped him his standing as one of a very select group of “Alpha Hippies.”
Organic pepper spray from Whole Feuds by djbones
The Occupy Seattle Consensus Builder* named, Sitka Spruce said, “McGinn is totally joining the fascists. Kick us out? He and his bike should be down here, man. We are so stoked to hear the High Hippy Council has stripped him of his title. Dude has changed.”
In a press release, the High Hippy Council said, “We had such high hopes for Mayor McGinn. He rides a bike, founded a nonprofit, heck he has a beard! Yet his actions speak to a different soul, one that sees peace and quiet above our need to camp in parks and smoke pot. His name is hereby erased from the chalkboard in our basement office in Eugene. So be it.”
This action is not without merit. Only last year Seattle’s Hempfest felt the Mayor had unfairly “harshed their trippy tree slide by requiring permits for the hundreds of thousands that cram into Myrtle Edwards park to buy expensive, low-quality pot and choke on patchouli clouds the size of Brazil.
McGinn was reached for comment and said:
“What? I am totally a hippy. Do you realize how much we paid for organic pepper spray to use on them tonight?”
After a pause, the Mayor seemed resigned to his fate and finished with, “Whatever. I am not even sure what these Occupy Seattle folks are protesting. In New York, they are holding down Wall Street to fight corporate greed. What does Westlake Park say as a location…they hate Sephora? $38 foundation is evil? Go home and stop harassing the homeless in the park.” With that, the Mayor hopped on his bike and rode off to play Frisbee at Gasworks with his friend Earth Moon.
*They do not buy into the bourgeois idea of top down leadership models…man
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Posted by admin on 10:10am, Wed, Oct 5 2011. Filed under Breaking News, Featured Stories, Local.
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