AM Salmon News-Gears of War 3 Released-Sex Stops in X Box Homes With the release of the long awaited Xbox 360 game, “Gears of War 3”, wives across the America have stocked up on batteries and romance novels. At a local Costco, Kelly Lester had a cart full of C sized batteries for what she [...]
PAC 10 12 to Not Become PAC 14 After weeks of NCAA Div I level footsie, the PAC 12 decided to not admit conference shopping Texas and Oklahoma. The news came out in this somewhat surprising statement Tuesday afternoon: “After careful review, we have determined that it is in the best interests of our member [...]
Netflix Finds New Business Model The morning after a crazy day of splitting the company and dumb names, Netflix users awoke to an email this morning from the CEO Reed Hastings announcing a new, third plan. DVD rental stores. “We have decided that we need to break our business model open and explore radical ideas. [...]
City Defends that 20% of Employees Make Over $100,000 A damning Seattle Times article found that 20% of city employees are making $100,000 or more a year. The piece revealed that most of the municipal money bags were police officers, firefighters, and city light line workers. The city’s director of personnel, Sandra Sikes, came out [...]
Dennis Kucinich to Stay in Ohio After more “feeler” trips to Washington State than Governor “I live in Idaho” Gregoire, Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich announced he is running for re-election in his Buckeye State instead of Washington. Facing a redistricting process that he feared would make him face voters concerned about his record, the 43 term [...]
Weiner’s District Goes Limp The New York City congressional seat held by former self pornographer Congressman Anthony Wiener was won by Republican Bob Turner last night. This gives “Bluer than a Smurf” NYC a second Republican Congressman! According to the Book of Revelation this is a sign of a coming apocalypse right after the seas [...]
Dentists Get Paid Less, Porsche Dealerships Reeling As the major dental insurance provider in Washington roll back their unfettered funding to dentists, area Porsche dealerships are suffering. “All of these dentists have been waiting to trade in their 2011 Carreras for the 2012 models and now my phone is ringing off the hook with them [...]
Amazon CEO Bezos’ Rocket Fails During Test; Wife Not Surprised Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos’ space venture, Blue Origin, had its short, stubby rocket fail during its second test flight late last week. Sherry Bezos, Jeff’s wife, was not surprised. “Jeff’s ‘rocket’ never shoots as often or as long as it used to,” she said from [...]
A new section in the “paper” called “Salmon Bites” is our morning take on the big fish in the news. (Some thought this section should have been called “Salmon Bites Dog”, but they were summarily overruled.) Seattle Drivers Declared “Worst” by Allstate Insurance Using their data, the stuff that makes Salmon writer’s insurance go up [...]
A new section in the paper called “Salmon Bites” is our morning take on the big fish in the news. 787 is approved for flight by FAA! After three years of delays, the Boeing 787 is FINALLY approved for commercial flight. We at the Salmon are SUPER EXCITED, but wonder if its coal fired [...]
