Category archives for: Special Features

Hell Freezes Over: Liberal Pussies Embrace Owners of Gas-Guzzling SUV’s

hummer

Snowstorm helps to warm the cool attitudes of drivers

MLK was a Band Geek

mlk-memorial

Local Sketch Group Super-Jazzed About Their “Occupy Christmas” Video

The littlest 99% protester

(Oklahoma City) A group of O.K. City sketch comedians know what they want Santa to leave in their stocking this year: a million hits on YouTube! Keith Walton, of local sketch group The Mooners believes that their holiday-themed video short, “Occupy Christmas,” could be the sketch that takes their comedy careers to a whole new [...]

Seattle Still First In the Nation for Weird, Undignified Bicycles

Just one, sad, example of a Seattlite's taste in bikes.

By Chris Blado Cycling enthusiasts, take note:  Seattle has once again been voted the best city for riding bizarrely-shaped bicycles that make you look like a goddamn horse’s ass.  2011 is the third year in a row Seattle has won the competition, cementing its place as a paradise for those who want to look like [...]

Excessive Bumper Stickers to Blame for Thousands of Prius Roll-overs

prius-stickers

Toyota Prius owners will be forced to express their liberal views someplace other than on their car bumper–most likely at Starbucks. A Department of Transportation official says Toyota will recall all 2003-2012 Prius hybrids to address dangerous roll-over accidents caused by bumper sticker weight distribution issues. “Bumper sticker modification to the Prius is a very [...]

A Seattleite’s map of Washington State

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Click on the map to enlarge it.

AM Salmon News:Gears of War 3 Released-Sex Stops in Xbox 360 Homes

Duracell stock goes up every time this game comes out

AM Salmon News-Gears of War 3 Released-Sex Stops in X Box Homes With the release of the long awaited Xbox 360 game, “Gears of War 3”, wives across the America have stocked up on batteries and romance novels.  At a local Costco, Kelly Lester had a cart full of C sized batteries for what she [...]

AM Salmon News-PAC 12 Hides from Texas and Oklahoma!

Um, yeah.  You guys can stay over there to play...

PAC 10 12 to Not Become PAC 14 After weeks of NCAA Div I level footsie, the PAC 12 decided to not admit conference shopping Texas and Oklahoma.  The news came out in this somewhat surprising statement Tuesday afternoon: “After careful review, we have determined that it is in the best interests of our member [...]

Salmon Morning News-Netflix’s New Business Plan!

Check out our groundbreaking idea, DVD rental stores in your neighborhood!

Netflix Finds New Business Model The morning after a crazy day of splitting the company and dumb names, Netflix users awoke to an email this morning from the CEO Reed Hastings announcing a new, third plan.  DVD rental stores.  “We have decided that we need to break our business model open and explore radical ideas.   [...]

SALMON MONDAY MORNING BREAKING NEWS FLASH!

How can you get the cat out of the tree with so much money in your pockets?

City Defends that 20% of Employees Make Over $100,000 A damning  Seattle Times article found that 20% of city employees are making $100,000 or more a year.  The piece revealed that most of the municipal money bags were police officers, firefighters, and city light line workers.  The city’s director of personnel, Sandra Sikes, came out [...]

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