Family falls under the spell of magic mushrooms A family of mushroom enthusiasts had to be rescued this weekend after an almost week long bad trip in an Oregon forest. Betsy and Dickey Boone, along with their adult son Abe and their pit bull Jonsey, had planned a quick trip off a logging road to [...]
Charitable foundation makes a boob of itself Susan G. Komen for the Cure has halted funding previously granted to rival woman’s health advocacy group Planned Parenthood. Komen says they are concerned with the shoddy bookkeeping that has Planned Parenthood under investigation by Congress, but the 19 Planned Parenthood affiliates no longer receiving Komen cash for [...]
Seattle-ites return to offices to face overflowing in-boxes As Seattle went back to work this week, shame and regret have crept into the void left by a week of carefree snow days. “When I got back to the office, I discovered that some of my co-workers hadn’t missed any work,” said Adobe employee Gail Banks. [...]
Dragon is at the top of the Zodiac Peking Order For over a decade billions of Asians have been going through the motions, celebrating Chinese New Year as if it meant something. They have put on a brave front, drumming up token enthusiasm for Year of the Sheep and Year of the Ox. But everyone [...]
Call marriage a “boner-killer.” (Olympia) Only a few votes stand between gays and the right to marry in Washington State. The House of Representatives, packed with more gay legislators than a Morman choir, has the numbers to pass it today. But the Senate, always the legislative cock blockers, still needs to find a few “YES” [...]
Total bullshit could paralyze the region As a high pressure hype system approaches the Seattle area, the National Weather Service is reporting that six inches of bullshit could accumulate in the lowlands while up to a foot of dense, heavy horseshit will blanket the higher elevations. TV weatherperson Monica Shields is making dire predictions. “This [...]
Tired of the “Google-Terrorism,” candidate has plans to crucify Seattle based sex columnist when President (New Hampshire) After years of internet searches defining his name as a byproduct of anal sex, presidential candidate Rick Santorum rammed back today. At a freezing Epping, NH rally he vowed that, as President, he would have the man who created this [...]
Michele Bachmann says her presidential bid is BT-Over.
The toughest diplomatic challenge in decades on Korean Peninsula As the untested Kim Jong Un puts down his X Box controller and picks up the reins of power in North Korea, diplomats in China and Russia work late into the night to come with something, anything nice to say about the young dictator. “Like it [...]
Vows to appear on Ellen in swimsuit to show off “bangin’ bikini body” Santa Claus called a press conference on Tuesday to announce that he will become the newest Jenny Craig spokesperson in 2012. Santa is so confident in his ability to meet his weight loss goals he will appear on TV’s Ellen to [...]
