HEALTH WARNING: Puppy Bowl viewing parties create toxic estrogen levels
Female hormone levels while watching match could permanently injure the weak, old, and/or male
(Minnesota) The Mayo Clinic alerted news outlets today that viewers of Puppy Bowl VIII, Animal Planet’s answer to the Super Bowl, should exercise extreme caution. Recent incidences have shown estrogen excreted through women’s pores watching the puppy frolicking match becomes airborne and can harm bystanders. Apparently the cuteness of the match causes the women’s body to produce higher levels of the hormone than even during pregnancy or while watching “The Vampire Diaries”.
Some recent cases that alarmed the researchers:
2007 Little Rock, AK
A 93 year old woman became spontaneously pregnant while in a room of football widows watching the puppy match.
2008 Scarsdale, NY
A four year old boy grew B-Cup breasts while playing in front of the TV as his mother and aunts watched the Puppy Bowl briefly during halftime of the actual Super Bowl.
A Peace Lily, a common house plant, began menstruating in a room of teen age girls watching Puppy Bowl VI.
The Mayo Clinic says research into a cure will continue, but in the meantime, anyone not female and of childbearing ages, should avoid the Puppy Bowl. They recommend watching the usually terrible half time show produced by the NFL and biting a leather strap to manage the pain.
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