Aging, grunge-era rockers and Amanda Knox will have to wait a little longer to buy grass-fed, Kobe beef and artisanal hand soaps in West Seattle. Seattle, WA–It’s gettin’ real in the proposed Whole Foods parking lot in West Seattle. Construction of the new store on Fauntleroy Way hit a snag, after Mayor McGinn suggested that the [...]
Seattle, WA–As the Highway 99 tunnel machine begins boring its way through the rock, sludge and poopy underside of downtown Seattle, Seattle super villains say that the planned tunnel could destroy their secret underground lair. “Drat! We were only weeks away from completing our doomsday device. These delays will set us back years,” bemoaned former [...]
Seattle, WA–A rare breed of flightless seagull, Laridae Obesus, weighing up to 40 lbs, was recently discovered downtown Seattle languishing on the waterfront. “They seem to only be inhabiting certain portions of Pier 54, specifically, under the picnic tables at Ivar’s Fish Bar,” said self-described “bird nerd” and President of the Cascade Ornithological Society, Meg [...]
Seattle, WA — The distressing news that Bauhaus Books and Coffee will be demolished this September, has many of its regular patrons feeling steamed and left with no choice but to triple their Xanax dosages. The owners of “the Bauhaus” plan to move the café to a nearby location as soon as possible. They insist [...]
