Even after verdict, beliefs kept quiet because social pressure demands Knox is innocent West Seattle-Still shocked by the acquittal, they whisper at the local library branch, nod to each other in line at the Morgan Junction Starbucks, and even occasionally email their true feelings to each other. What is this secret society? It’s not the [...]
Seattle, WA — Fueled by economic hardship and driven by social media, the Occupy Wall Street protests, taking place in New York City over the last two weeks, have gone viral–and it looks like Seattle forgot to get its flu shot. A copycat protest group, called Occupy Seattle, has called for a series of protests [...]
We have the Amazon tablet! It was unveiled just today in NYC but the Salmon’s intrepid Wikisquirts! reporters/All Pro Dumpster Divers have found a working model before the rest of the media has any. There are number of new features, but the REAL news is that Amazon seems to be embracing the fact that the biggest [...]
“I am out of good ideas,” said Coach Carroll Generic Telecom Stadium -This morning, the Seahawks held the NFL’s first “American Idol,” style competition to find a decent not horrible offensive line. Despite Sunday’s win, fans saw another showing by an offensive line that rivaled the protective nature of soft tofu. During the post-game press [...]
Soother-in-Chief acknowledges the mega-hurt feelings of mega-rich As President Obama toured the hard hit Medina neighborhood on Sunday, evidence of the continuing economic disaster was impossible to ignore. In nearly every driveway, the 2011 Mercedes S-Class sedans were replaced with less opulent 2012 C-Class models this year. “Sacrifices are never easy,” said Obama at the [...]
Former Mayor Nickels pleads to international community to stop oppression by “Normal Seattle” From the podium in the UN General Assembly, lifelong West Seattle resident Greg Nickels pleaded to the international community to “end the oppression of the peace-loving people of West Seattle by their overlords across Elliott Bay.” Greg Nickels was the mayor of [...]
Straight off the fashion runway and onto the tarmac at Paine Field. [Everett, WA] — The euro-chic wild boys of the 1980′s, Duran Duran are kicking off their U.S. tour in one of Washington State’s premier decaying industrial mill towns–the city of Everett. The choice of Everett–a town known mostly for its pawn shops, tattoo [...]
Toyota Prius owners will be forced to express their liberal views someplace other than on their car bumper–most likely at Starbucks. A Department of Transportation official says Toyota will recall all 2003-2012 Prius hybrids to address dangerous roll-over accidents caused by bumper sticker weight distribution issues. “Bumper sticker modification to the Prius is a very [...]
“It burns when I smoosh!” Snooki had never dialed a number sober before, but she eventually managed to ring up a local gynecologist to discuss a dire problem. “I need to see an OMGYN,” she demanded. “I got problems with my kookah.” Fearing an advanced case of Guidette Papilloma Virus (GPV), the receptionist sent an [...]
