Dave Reichert and his brain injury hailed as accidental heroes After months of wrangling, grandstanding, and trying almost anything, a late night deal has been reached that leaves the current debt ceiling intact but substantially lowers the debt floor. “Man, we were up all night, balls deep in caucus, and totally hammered on vodka Red [...]
The Seattle Salmon Wikisquirts team took a dive into the dumpster outside of Windermere Real Estate recently. Hoping to find cocaine accidentally thrown away by a careless realtor we ended up finding something ALMOST as good! As every intrepid Salmon reader knows, Ohio Congressman and resident alien spotter has set his eyes on moving to [...]
After 17 straight losses, Mariner’s manager Eric Wedge had no choice but to turn to the netherworld to exorcise bad juju from our SoDo Mojo. Seattle, WA–While the M’s seem to be in the process of winning in New York, today, the Seattle Mariners have publicly announced that they have found the root cause of [...]
Hopes are high that the right moulding or shade of paint could avert crisis With the US government on course to hit its debt ceiling early next week, lawmakers are looking for any means – outside of actual governance – to forestall this potential catastrophe. Desperate for a tactic that could buy precious time, Congress [...]
Researchers have confirmed that a new wolf pack has arrived in Washington State. The most recent arrival has settled in the northwest Seattle neighborhood of Greenwood. Part of a growing trend of wild animals living among human Seattleites, this wolf pack is struggling to adapt while retaining its essential wolf-ness. Adjusting to life in the North [...]
Seattle-The annual Block Party went down this weekend on Seattle’s Capitol Hill, a three day festival of indie bands intended to act like a giant conch shell, summoning hipsters from the four corners of the city. However, a noticeable lack of size 5T, low slung, dark denims in Friday’s crowd had organizers concerned. Where were [...]
How to Get Laid at Comic-Con Ah..Comic-Con 2011. The world’s largest Comic Convention and blue balls assemblage. Never have so many, wanted so much, and been giving so few…opportunities to see boobies. Comic-Con is like a sexual Mecca to our nerd tribe, but for many of us pilgrims its promise of earthly delights is little more [...]
London-Fans are reeling at the news that pop sorta-star Amy Winehouse was found dead this morning in her London residence. “All of Amy’s close friends are shocked and devastated,” says a representative paid to act shocked and devastated. According to the publicist, Winehouse was discovered draped over her stationary bike when medics arrived. Unable to [...]
Move over Zillow and Zulily, another local internet business offering aggressive deals Seattle is cramming another company to its already stuffed tech landscape with the IPO of local deal-of-the-day website GangRate.com. GangRate incites members to participate in a style of flash mob coupon-ing. Corporations make screaming deals available for only an hour at a time [...]
Presidential frontrunner Michelle Bachmann’s husband wants to, “Discover the ins and outs of Seattle’s gay community.” Capitol Hill-The Seattle “Out and Proud” Committee today made a stunningly early…and stunningly stunning, announcement that Marcus Bachmann, Michelle’s allegedly anti gay husband will be the Grand Marshall of the 2012 Pride Parade. Out and Proud President Cliff Nichols said [...]
