The Wikisquirts team has left the WAC steam room (there are some things the human eye was never meant to see) in search of new documents never meant to see the light of day. A recent Route 71 bus ride to the north found us wandering along Montlake looking through dumpsters in search of secret [...]
Seattle-Washington State just announced that unemployment checks are going up $3 dollars a week. This deluge of cash is not only going to bling out the unemployed lifestyle around town but there are some who think this may finally kick the recession down the stairs. The Seattle Salmon went around town talking to folks to [...]
Spokesman points to “green shoots” in car theft, assault As crime rates continue to tumble in step with the faltering economy, Seattle Criminals’ Guild president Snake Jaw vowed to “work harder to spark a true renaissance of law-breaking in the Emerald City, from the lowliest misdemeanor to the most heinous felony.” “I admit it. These [...]
Numbers at the Seattle Gay Pride Parade and PrideFest swelled this year and many assumed the raucous crowd had turned out to celebrate the recent gay marriage victory in New York State. However, interviews with parade-goers revealed the crowds to be more apprehensive about the situation than joyful. Pensive Drag Queens Wave From Floats [...]
Battle of the Jock vs Nerd Stereotypes With the emergence most viable Republican and Democratic candidates for Governor, the Seattle Salmon has been working exceptionally hard to find something interesting to say about these career Washington politicians. This handy side-by-side comparison should help readers develop a superficial understanding of the men who will battle for [...]
We met the Congressman early this morning at the best breakfast in Pike-Pine-a-hood, the IHOP on Madison. Seattle Salmon: “Thank you for coming by today, we really appreciate it…this is the first time we have ever been able to interview an elected official not under a felony investigation and/or naked.” Jay Inslee: “My pleasure.” Seattle [...]
THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS NO HEALTH ADVICE, EXPLICIT OR IMPLIED: Any readers unfamiliar with the Seattle Salmon should be warned that this is a satirical (read: humor) publication and is intended to be a diversion from working and not to be of beneficial value to anyone. This week summer gave the Puget Sound a flirtatious glimpse [...]
“This is our moment!” say industry leading CEO in leaked internal memo SoCal-The Wikisquirts! Team took a trip south to raid the <gross> steam rooms of the porn capital of the word, not counting our own hard drives, the San Fernando Valley. During these steamy, Valtrex infused operations, we uncovered the most amazing memo which [...]
The Seattle Salmon has received a photograph of the 520 bridge entrance from an anonymous snitch working in the WSDOT executive men’s day spa. Initially, it was assumed the photo was taken from security camera footage depicting a panicky Bill Gates attempting to shoo a hornet from his speeding car. Upon further inspection and some [...]
We at the Salmon are not above admitting a mistake once or twice per geological era. So after a few thousand petty emails from “real fans” we are prepared to acknowledge some lapses in our coverage. To list a few comments we would like to amend, please see below. We started out the season by [...]
