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Featured Stories

The Seattle Salmon Endorses Comcast to be the Next Seattle Mayor »

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Proven record of shitting on customers, buying elections, and providing “Game of Thrones” struck a chord with us (The Sloop)…

11:42am, Mon, Nov 4 2013 / No Comment / Read More »

Top 10 reasons Amanda Knox won’t be returning to Italy for trial »

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Without further blib-blab, here is the list of the top ten reasons Amanda Knox won’t be returning to Italy for…

8:34am, Mon, Sep 30 2013 / 1 Comment / Read More »
SALMONCAST: The Seattle Salmon's Weekly Headlines Podcast SALMONCAST: The Seattle Salmon's Weekly Headlines Podcast

(Click the links below to listen)

Friday Feb 3, 2012 on 107.7 fm

Thursday Feb 2, 2012 on 107.7 fm

Friday Jan 27, 2012 on 107.7 fm

Thursday Jan 26, 2012 on 107.7 fm
Local bertha-secret-lair

Tunnel-boring machine could destablize super villain secret lair

Seattle, WA–As the Highway 99 tunnel machine begins boring its way through the rock, sludge and poopy underside of downtown Seattle, Seattle super villains say that the planned tunnel could destroy their secret underground lair. “Drat!…

11:01am, Thu, Jul 25 2013 / Read More »
Politics image

The Seattle Salmon Endorses Comcast to be the Next Seattle Mayor

Proven record of shitting on customers, buying elections, and providing “Game of Thrones” struck a chord with us (The Sloop) Initially, the Seattle Salmon Editorial Board (SOAR) was going to forgo any endorsements in the Seattle…

11:42am, Mon, Nov 4 2013 / Read More »
Business ugly-in-seattle

Seattle unemployment rate stuck at 4%: All the hotties have been hired

Seattle, WA–The local job market has never been uglier. While Seattle possesses one of the lowest jobless rates in the nation, all the physically attractive job seekers have either been hired or have married a Microsoft…

7:20pm, Tue, Aug 13 2013 / Read More »
Science & Tech New breed of flightless seagull discovered at Ivar's Fish Bar

Rare breed of flightless gull discovered at Ivar’s Fish Bar

Seattle, WA–A rare breed of flightless seagull, Laridae Obesus, weighing up to 40 lbs, was recently discovered downtown Seattle languishing on the waterfront. “They seem to only be inhabiting certain portions of Pier 54, specifically, under…

7:00pm, Thu, Jul 18 2013 / Read More »
Media This image was taken using a $689 camera. Note the lack of composition.

Seattleites Take Thousands of Crappy Pictures of Beautiful Sunset

On Friday evening, a gorgeous sunset delivered a stunning upset to thousands of self-styled photographers. While nearly every Seattle-ite owns a professional-grade SLR camera, over 95 percent of the pictures of yesterday’s maginifcent light show were,…

2:52pm, Sat, Jan 14 2012 / Read More »
Culture image

Top 10 reasons Amanda Knox won’t be returning to Italy for trial

Without further blib-blab, here is the list of the top ten reasons Amanda Knox won’t be returning to Italy for her murder trial. Italian food makes her homicidal. Had to stay for the Breaking Bad finale.…

8:34am, Mon, Sep 30 2013 / Read More »
Health & Fitness komen-ribbon

Susan G. Komen Takes Lumps Over Planned Parenthood De-Fund

Charitable foundation makes a boob of itself  Susan G. Komen for the Cure has halted funding previously granted to rival woman’s health advocacy group Planned Parenthood. Komen says they are concerned with the shoddy bookkeeping that…

12:30pm, Thu, Feb 2 2012 / Read More »
Sports Vin Baker

Vin Baker enters final year of Sonics contract, McIlvaine still has three years to go

Seatac, WA–While the dust cloud created by the rapid departure of the Seattle Sonics has long since settled, amazingly, two NBA players are still under contract: Vin Baker and Jim McIlvaine. “We admit that the Vin…

12:53pm, Fri, Aug 30 2013 / Read More »

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